Stamattina ho ricevuto questa email da parte di un amico statunitense che, come me, abita a Stoccolma.
A me sembra molto divertente e "leggera", alcuni svedesi però non l'hanno gradita molto....
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This was posted on the local today... so true
Dear foreigner. Hello and welcome to SWEDEN.
To help you survive (at best, that's about all you'II be doing), here's a few things you should know about Sweden:
As humans evolved, something went awfully wrong in northern Europe. To be specific, the gene which regulates normal social functioning and emotional expression underwent a dramatic mutation in Sweden. Consequently you will be in breech of a fundamental societal rule if you acknowledge the existence of another human in any context. Facial non-expression is especially important in Sweden. Your mouth should be in a permanent inverted U position (particularly if you are a female over 35). Learn to walk around with a blank look on your face - to achieve this, try to really believe that you will live forever and that each day is a total drag.
Now, all this can take a while to get used to. Some people crack and leave, others enter a long term dysthymia; but the good new is, the choice is yours! You may consider consulting a doctor, but you will need a person number and appointments can only be made between 7:15 and 7:30am. Outside this 15 minute window, there's always the Solna freeway if you're looking for a quick exit. Nobody will notice or react.
Adequate housing is a fundamental human right, and Sweden acknowledges this with affirmative social policies. In practice, however, if you need accommodation, there are queues. Take a ticket, stand in line for 5 years, and if you're lucky you will be invited to rent a 20 square meter shoebox. In the meantime, there's always BLOCKED (also known as BLOCKET), where you can plead with an Iranian to rent a 20 square meter apartment on a 4th hand contract in Upplands Väsby for two months at a time.
Finally, you might be considering a relationship here. Sweden is full of young hot women! You can see them swanning about on trains and busses, or in bars and trendy Stockholm clubs. Sadly, they aren't real. Even see the film Blade Runner? Remember the replicants? Well, they mutated here in Sweden. Beautiful but soulless robots. If you do start a relationship with one, be warned: their DNA self-implodes around 30 and they metamorphosise into wrinkled spectacle-wearing prunes with short haircuts.
Good luck and welcome to Sweden!
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saluti,
Tom
Indice 
